OK Here's the dilemma.
My mom passed away a few years ago, I'm over the sorrow and I still miss her but I've gotten over it. Now, My father has since remarried to a wonderful woman whom I've known for many years as she and her husband (also deceased) were friends of my mom and dad while I was growing up.
I was in Jamaica when they got hitched and so I haven't been able to see them in person since this all took place. My siblings have had the chance to welcome her into the family in person and all I've been able to do is talk on the phone. So...here's the rub, I know that my dad wants us (me and my siblings) to make her feel like she has been accepted and thinks we should love her as much as he loves her. All fine and good, but I can't seem to keep from calling her by her first name even though, when my dad talks about her to us "kids" he calls her mom like he used to do my real mom. I think that this woman is very nice and sweet and I'm thrilled that my dad and her have found love again after their first spouses (is "spice" the plural?) passed away.
All this to ask, do you think it is appropriate to wish her a happy mothers day, send a card, and all that wrought, even though I don't think of her in that way yet? Do I go through the motions even though I don't feel it, to make them happy? Or do I wait until I do feel comfortable (if ever) calling her "mom" and meaning it?
Your comments would be welcome.
Latah Mon.
3 comments:
They have cards for Step moms.... maybe you could send something like that. But yes, I think you should acknowledge it. :)
Of course you should. I can't imagine the hurt you father could experience if his children don't show acceptance of his new wife. Sure, she isn't your mother but she is now an integral part of your fathers life.
They also have cards that just recognize a woman for being a mom in general.
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